Last month Pastor Betsy, our Prayer Pastor, challenged us to pray the Search Me prayer every day for a month. Praying Psalms 139:23-24 has profoundly impacted my spiritual life. It humbled me, it made me more aware of giving my worries to the Lord, and it encouraged me to walk on the eternal path with Him. In truth, it prepared me for Dangerous Prayer #2--Break Me, which undoubtedly will be even more difficult than the last. Asking God to break me is scary. Hey, he's broken me numerous times. I know what it feels like to think that my life is over but I have bounced back each time, stronger than ever before. Looking back, I know that I had to endure the trials I endured to get to this place at this time in my life. Yet, I have never given all that I had to Jesus. I believe that surrendering all is what He wants and perhaps, now, I can learn how to do that.
Pastor Craig Groeschel shared three quotes about the Break Me prayer that ressonated with me:
*"Your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts."
*"We may impress people with our strength but we connect most deeply through our brokeness."
*"Life's greatest breakings often lead to God's greatest blessings."
Connecting the Dots._._._.
It always amazes me how when I immerse myself in the scripture, the Lord shows me how to connect-the-dots that were right in front of me all along. One of the stories that Pastor Groeschel shares is the Anointing of Jesus in Bethany, Mark 14:3-9. A woman, well-known for her sin, broke an entire alabaster container that held spikenard, a valuable oil, and annointed Jesus with it. Some of the men at the table were indignant saying that the jar of nard could have been sold for a year's wages and the money given to the poor. Yet Jesus rebuked them saying that the poor will always be with you but I will not. Jesus said that she had done what she could and has annointed my body for burial beforehand. She gave all that she had to the Lord. In spite of being acutely reminded of her sin by those in the room, she was broken at the feet of Jesus.
Being broken at the feet of Jesus and surrendering all, reminded me of my homework in my Bible study of 2nd Timothy this week. We had to read Philippians 3:12-14 about the nature of divine calling. Just as the woman in Bethany left all her sin at Jesus' feet, the next steps she would have taken would be as a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul tells us to forget what is behind and to reach forward to what is ahead. Wow! That hit me like a ton of bricks! I had been thinking that my calling was behind me. I had taught for 35 years with passion and purpose. I had made a difference in the lives of thousands of students. Now that I'm retired, I confess to looking at my calling in past tense. How wrong I was! Yes, I can honestly say that I feel as if I've been broken but have I done what I should, as the woman who annointed Jesus did? Did I see my calling in the future instead of the past? Until today, I was definitely looking behind me but not after praying the Search Me and Break Me prayers. I have always known the Lord had more plans for me--my calling to do the Lord's work is ahead of me. I am looking forward my new adventure in my walk with the Lord!
Soul Collage
(Broken...Council...I am one who wants to be like the woman who broke her alabaster vessel and poured the valuable contents of oil on Jesus' feet. She gave all that she had to annoint the Lord. The Dangerous prayer we are praying this month is to ask the Lord to break us.)