Mountain Fix

I made the intentional decision to go alone. I needed a change of scenery--an opportunity to rest my body, mind, and soul. This experience is all about finding Jenny, again. I am as lost as I was after I retired from teaching. Teaching had been my life, my passion. Likewise, for thirteen years caring for Michael had been my life, my passion--with the intensity that accompanies the certainly that you are doing what you are meant to be doing. I never doubted that we were meant to be together but that's another story...

We fell in love with the rustic-modern cabins in Madison. However, I thought it be wise to stay some place similar, but different. I have been investigating Zook Cabins as an idea to add onto my house. Staying in one closer to home seemed like a good idea. Truly, I feel like Michael is with me. He would have loved it here! I haven't seen the bison, yet, but I am sure I will tomorrow. I checked in a little after 3 pm and was thrilled when I arrived. It is perfect! Whoever decorated this cabin had a real sense of blending color, materials, and textures to create an environment that honors the bison on the farm and is soothing to anyone who walks through that door. I can't get over the smell--it is earthy, fresh, and intoxicating. I wish I could create a spray that was Essence of Zook. I may never have insomnia again!

When I was packing at home, I opened up our Yeti cooler that Brandon and Jessi gave us for Christmas. Inside, we three Yeti dry pouches! I had no idea he had gotten them. That wonderful, thoughtful, obsessive man is still giving me presents!!! Thank you, Michael! I missed you so much!

After a restful night of sleep which I sorely needed, I decided to go to some of our favorite places. It felt really good to visit some of the wineries we went to on our honeymoon. I drove by some rivers where we fished and even the farmhouse that was on fire. Michael got a kitty out of the house but it didn't make it. Then, of course, there's Old Rag Mountain. Michael has climbed her many, many times. I have always wanted to but I haven't been physcially ready. Jake and Elizabeth bravely

climbed to the rocky peak. I just will live vicariously through them. I can't quite explain how calming it was but I am certain I felt closer to Michael and closer to God. That's important because I've been more than a little angry with God, lately. I am working on that--they say it's normal in the grieving process. I will write mor later...